Even as I sit here, I begin to wonder what could happen to 'someone'. My heart beats with nervousness and anxiety to know what the outcome will be like. No matter what, God is in control. "Go with God's flow". Ironically, that's what I told Sam a few days ago. Sometimes, it is harder to live out what you have said. So hence the phrase,"Easier said than done."
I always envision the worst case scenerio. Here I am sitting here trying to convice myself, "Becky, think positive." Hard... Truly hard... It's like asking someone to forget someone whom they love so much. Shoots, I feel crappy and emo. Haha :) Still, I'm all smiles *super fake*. Sigh and more sighs...
Somehow, I can feel, this is going to be a brutal bashing not only to my ego but my faith in people and maybe God. It's either the people are blinded or I am or we both are. Erm... Lord, help me. Reminds of the time when I was grieving over my dad's death. Exact same feeling. The cruelty of life, the selfishness of people. So now, it's either they are selfish or I am?
I'm really trying very hard to put myself in their shoes. Why do guys get it so fast? Probably 'coz they are more logical. Women go by feelings. I hope I don't react too badly later. Stay calm. I hope the time passes quickly so that I can get it over and done with.
