I couldn't really sleep last night. Had a lot of thoughts coming into my mind. Somehow, the whole thing seems so xianz and so childish. Wish I wasn't involved at all.
As I was reflecting in the toilet last night, I asked myself, "Have I actually forgiven?" Of course, it still hurts. The person betrayed my trust. And then, I woke up this morning and I realized that this is how the devil works. Sometimes, when we are off guard, he sows discords in relationships.
Yeah, I have forgiven but not forgotten. Someone told me yesterday, "It's hard to forgive and forget. Because, you will never forget. However, you can use this to serve yourself as a reminder not to do it to others."
Yup... It will serve me as a reminder. I have learnt in ministry, there are just too many confidential stuff. Stuff which you can't really share with others but only to pray.
Many times, we say things faster than we think without even realizing the consequences it can have on another person. I learnt that lesson a few years ago. I'm still learning. The things we say behind people's back, the things we say because we want to without respecting the person's privacy, the faces we show. It's all so humanistic yet it is so real.
It hurts, it really hurts. So from now on, this is my reminder and something which I will not forget. In life, they always say, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." This is definitely not applicable to our Christian walk. We love and we respect despite all that others have done.
